someone hmu on kik jacobparnell :)
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on Tumblr I am
partybarackisinthehousetonight: *christopher columbus arrives in america* “lol first” he writes in the sand
thinkonyoursins: There is always that annoying family of 12 that walk into the theater at the last second
inkys: if you have a trampoline at your house there’s a 100% chance that when i’m over all i am thinking about is when can we go on the trampoline
fuckedupdotcom: tuucker: irisowl: So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized Dr. Robert Evans I looked it up My dentist is Captain America’s dad My doctor is JK Rowling’s...
animeasuka: partybarackisinthehousetonight: children wake up early because they still get excited about life this is the saddest thing I’ve seen on here
Dentist: *stabs you in your chest*
Dentist: You're bleeding because you don't floss.
ectobiolosassy: crazieecatladyy: how to get the d i think i don’t want it anymore
keep-faith-xo: slydig: there will only be 7 planets left after i destroy uranus im am about to cry
vua: tumblr the home of the worlds sluttiest virgins
i thought everyone on tumblr was supposed to be ugly and antisocial some of you guys aren’t keeping up your part of the deal
lunartes: please don’t hold me responsible for anything i said or did from the years 2006-2010